Purposeful Prose Advice Column: Too Many Rules!

Dear Purposeful Prose,

I’ve been posting in a lot of writing groups lately for advice, but I’m overwhelmed by all the feedback. While I appreciate good-natured help, I’m noticing that a lot of people have their rules for writing, and those rules often conflict with other rules. I see a lot of “you have to do this” and “you have to do that”, and sometimes, I get too discouraged to write that day. How should I approach this?

I feel this. It’s important to remember, when you’re getting feedback about “rules” in writing, then the advice that people are going to give you is what worked for them, not necessarily about what works for you. 

This is something that happens in self-help all the time. A lot of self-help books will prescribe solutions for goals, and they might be good solutions. However, it’s important to understand that no one piece of advice will help every existing person. By the same token, not every piece of advice you see will work for you. 

When you ask for advice, you make yourself vulnerable, and it’s wonderful to be open to the thoughts of others. It’s also valid to feel overwhelmed. Since you’re a writer, and you’ve asked me for advice, I’m going to give you an exercise. 

Narrow down the list of advice that you received and pick a few strategies to try, maybe four or five. You can revisit and add more later. Be sure to pick what works for you. If you see an absolute (“never edit as you write”, “always share your work with others”), be wary. It’s possible that this advice will help you, but again, it’s not a guarantee. 

After you’ve picked the strategies that you want to try, it’s time to experiment! Do these strategies work for you and can you reasonably make a habit out of them? If not, try some more! Keep experimenting with writing strategies until you find a pattern that works for you. 

Something I often tell the writers I work with, especially if they’re publishing for the first time, is “stay curious, but remember your fundamentals.” I recognize that this piece of advice can feel contradictory. Something that we can’t change, as people in a creative industry, is that our success is determined equally by the actions of others as ourselves. Fundamentals such as grammatical rules, while many of those can also be contradictory, enable us to be better understood by others. 

Be creative. Set yourself apart. Allow yourself to experiment with new methods. Create something new that’s specific to you and your experiences. However, in the process, don’t forget who you want to welcome into your space. 

All this is to say that writing is a personal process. You’ll understand how you work best as you continue to practice. Again, it’s understandable to be overwhelmed by all the writing advice that is out there. I get overwhelmed by it myself, and I’m often in charge of giving that advice! 

I’m so proud of you for your willingness to try new things, and I look forward to what you write in the future!

If you have a writing or editing-focused question, I would be more than happy to dedicate a post to you. Contact us for any questions you might have or to schedule a free consultation with yours truly!

All submissions will remain anonymous unless you explicitly request for me to include your name.