The Art of Pruning Hedges: How to Cut and Shape Your Writing

Write what you think and feel, and do so unapologetically. You don’t need my permission, but it’s nice to have that validation. Once you write what you have to say, you could let it out into the world and not think about it again. 

However, as Charles Johnson tells us, “Where else in life do we get the chance—the privilege and blessing—to lovingly, selflessly go over something again and again until it finally embodies exactly what we think and feel, our best expression, our vision at its clearest, and our best techne?” 

If you’ve gone through any kind of revision process on your writing, guided or otherwise, you know how difficult it is to make cuts in your own writing, especially if it’s something that means a lot to you. 

Recently, I had to speak with a writer about their descriptions. Some of them worked well, but others were drawn out, repetitive, or didn’t function as immersive. More simply, they didn’t serve the purpose of the story. 

There are ways to write a good, long description, and I adore them. Here’s one from the first page of Piranesi by Susanna Clarke:

“First came the Tide from the Far Eastern Halls. This Tide ascended to the easternmost Staircase without violence. It had no colour to speak of and its Waters were no more than ankle deep. It spread a grey mirror across the Pavement, the surface of which was marbled with streaks of milky Foam.”

This paragraph drew breath so that the next two paragraphs could sing. If you remove one sentence or word from this paragraph, the experience would not be the same. It’s immersive to the degree that it needs to be. It doesn’t tell us how we are supposed to experience this scene, we just feel it. The purpose of this moment is the description. 

The writer I was working with had been self-editing for so long, it was difficult for them to see what needed to be kept and what needed trimming. 

We began as we have always begun: with purpose. The writer and I worked out how the subject of the text evolved over time, and then, we worked out the subject of each chapter. Our exercise was this:

• Cross out the repetitive.
  

• Mark anything that does not contribute to the subject or goal of the chapter and overall work (we'll probably cut it, but let's see).
  

• Cut or adjust vague language. 

This isn't to say that we cut everything that didn't actively progress the central narrative. Not every story beat needed to be action-oriented. We want readers to care about our characters, so we were strategic about our breaks in plot advancement so that the writer had the space to integrate descriptions that mattered, to build suspense, and to carry out their overall intentions.

As a result, we made larger cuts to the piece, but the cuts allowed the writer to prioritize what they felt mattered most. 

From there, what do we mean by vague language? 

In my post on word choice, I focus primarily on verbs and adjectives that aren’t pulling the weight they need to. 

Adverbs are no exception. Introductory phrases like, “in fact”, often read as redundant. I like to explain it like this:

“They’re not dirty words, but like dirty words, time and place matters.” 

“Exactly” or “certainly” are validating responses to questions, but when they aren’t adding meaning, what are they for? Roy Peter Clark advises that writers take a second look at adverbs, prepositional phrases, passive phrases like “tends to”, nouns that could be verbs, and restatements. 

“So, I have to cut all of them?”

“No, you do not.”

Take a second look at them, and ask yourself whether that word or phrase does anything for the sentence.

The writer I'm currently working with is experimenting with suggested cuts. They know their own writing best and knows what is and isn’t important to the story.

So do you. You are the writer, and while a reader can say what resonates most with them, you are the only one who can say what’s important and what’s not. 

As an editor, I get a lot of questions about cutting, restructuring, and prioritization. That’s why Purposeful Prose has a Content Trimming service and a Content Enhancement service. 

Contact us to learn more about these services, get a free sample, and schedule your free consultation!