Writing Romance: A Musing on How to Get Lost in Love

This article is another amazing collaboration between myself, the editor who's been leaving notes everywhere, and our wonderful guest writer, Chartres Royale. We have been discussing, romance novels lately, mostly the wavering biases that seem to surround them. Whether there is some internalized dislike of the feminine or the difficulty one might feel surrounding relatability to romance novels, there's always something new to bring to the conference. We've decided to expand on a few ideas that romance authors might consider when integrating romance into their repertoire.

Romance! You know it, you love it. Let’s talk romance writing. Before we get too far into it, I am only giving my opinions, much like I did with horror writing. If you don’t agree, that’s totally fine.  Personally, I think that’s a wonderful thing. I may not always agree with what some people are into or what they write about, but I do love the ability to see the world from a different perspective.

I intended to start off this article by saying how many romance books there are. My searches have said that there is...not really a concrete number as more are coming out daily. So, I tried querying on last year alone. That number is also a bit squishy. Goodreads says it’s something around four hundred and fifty-eight. A few other sites seem to echo that, more or less, but that list also admits that it’s “Contemporary Romance.” So, again, I could be very wrong. Wouldn’t be the first time. No matter what the number is the point is that it’s a lot!

Editor’s Note: Contemporary romance is considered, but not confirmed to be, the dominant subgenre within romance. Contemporary romance is defined by its present-day setting, realism, and timely, therefore relatable (according to the author), romantic scenarios. This is not to guarantee that the romantic situation posed will be universally relatable to the reader, but this is to say that contemporary romance does sell to a wide demographic of consumers.

But why is that? Why romance? Can I explain it? Can you write romance? To answer in order: We’ll talk about it. I have ideas. Probably, but not well. Absolutely! First let’s start with the why.

Part One: The One That You Love

Romantic fiction isn’t a new thing. I know, “water is wet” and “the sky is blue.” Everyone knows of some of the oldest love stories, poems, and plays. Most of us had to read “Romeo and Juliet” in school, I’d wager. What makes romance so popular?

In my research, I’ve found it’s a combination of things. The open-ness of the internet, internet communities’ refusal to demonize anything feminine, the passion of fan-made communities, and the vastly growing and changing subgenres.

The internet is constantly changing. Sometimes for the better. The openness and accessibility of many tools have allowed multiple writers of many different backgrounds to create and put their works out to the world. It’s this accessibility that gives these works wonderful fan communities that can bond over things they like, things they dislike, and create new friendships/relationships along the way.

I’ve always been a believer in fan communities. They may be controversial in some circles, but I’ve also always been a supporter of fan creations, like fan fiction. Sometimes, it’s fan creation that gives someone their first steps into making something all their own. After all, as a writer, you want your audience to be pulled into your work. You want them to enjoy and feel connected to it so that the story makes an impact and shows the reader your vision. They, in turn, do that and feel so inspired that they want to share what your vision has given them. While fans often take creative liberties, and in turn, change the message you have put forth, remember that this is their way of engaging in a conversation you’ve started. Someone likes what you’ve made so much that you’ve inspired them to create.

There’s also the much more accepting nature of communities to embrace things once seen as only applying to the feminine. Romance was one of those things that no “masculine man” should be involved with. A rather interesting conundrum if one looks at life from a hetero-normative view. You oppose romance, and yet you want to attract a partner who enjoys romance. That...certainly is a choice. Thankfully, we are moving away from these hetero-normative views of life and romance. The more accepting and open nature of life in the modern age has not only improved the lives of many people, but it also gives us so many more interesting stories to tell.

As a small aside, and a nod to the wonderful literary tastes of my editor, if it wasn’t for the ever-advancing acceptance and understanding of just LGBTQIA+ topics and people, a book like Confessions of the Fox may never have been written. On a personal level, that would make me very sad. I love that book. Advancements in understanding and compassion have helped us open doors to new stories, new authors, and new ideas. Even if some of the popular stories that have come out recently aren’t the kind of thing I like, I still celebrate that they exist. I love creativity, and I feel that everyone should have the opportunity to create.

Back to the topic more directly: Romance. Literature about romance does seem to have a grip on popular media lately, but why is that? The world, dear reader, isn’t exactly the most fun place right now. I’ll skip over the darker bits and just leave it at, “we’re all dealing with things that we really don’t want to be dealing with.” That’s fair enough. In times of hardship, we do like to give ourselves small dalliances to help deal with a difficult world. The idea of a treat after a bad day at work, eating junk food for dinner instead of something healthy because it’s been a while, taking the long way home because you enjoy the trip and need the fresh air. Little things like that help to ease the mind and put you back into the headspace you prefer to be in.

Romantic fiction can be that little treat to people who truly enjoy it. For me, it’s mystery or horror but the thought process is the same. A story that you can just get lost in for a bit. Let go of the stresses of life for a while and learn about Marcella and Carmen’s endless love and desire for one another. Pore over how they have to fight to overcome not only their families and friends preconceived notions about a “traditional relationship” and how they have to keep this love a secret as love between two nuns is a forbidden act.

Fan communities and social media also go a long way to bring stories to people. I learn about a lot of books and stories from social media like TikTok, and I don’t even have an account. People are so passionate and excited about this thing that they want to share it. I think that’s wonderful and, for me, the passion of others does a lot to make me interested in the book. It works that way with a lot of things. I can see all the commercials in the world and only find something mildly interesting or worthy of purchase. However, if I hear from someone who is passionate and interested in the thing they’re talking about, that gets my attention. I want to know what makes someone excited even if, in the end, I’m not a fan of it.

Part Two: Making Love Out of Nothing at All

Now the big question: “Can I write romance?” Well, the short answer is yes. Then again, dear readers, I believe you can do anything. When it comes to romantic fiction, I got my start on reading this particular genre in fan communities. I may be a strange case, but I adore the amateur writer. The spelling and grammar errors were there but also was a passion that you don’t usually get from more mainstream works. That’s not to say all. There are several wonderfully written books that are passionate and engaging. There’s something so interesting about someone so consumed with their excitement and passion for a subject that they must get it down in print before their idea flitters away like a frightened moth. Damn the consequences! It must be done!

That’s the kind of passion and creativity I love to see from people. That feverish first draft that needs to get out before you feel like you might lose it. I’ve felt that many times and, also, lost it. It’s so frustrating when you finally start working on an idea that was burning inside you and realize that you’ve lost the ending. What you thought was going to be good turns out to be nothing. It’s really disheartening. That’s why I encourage everyone to be creative, make what you love, and craft that thing that’s burning inside you. Even if it turns out to not be the thing you really want or the thing you think is really good, you were able to craft it and, from that experience, you can learn and take something from that. There are no real failures, only opportunities to learn.

As I have mentioned, romance isn’t my usual avenue of creativity. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried my hand at it on a few occasions to less than stellar results. I am my own harshest critic, so that probably doesn’t help either. Even so, writing romance has its own set of challenges. The usual things: characters, settings, plot, so on. But there is an additional issue as well. One you probably already know even before I say it. It’s similar to the challenge of creating horror.

Romance, by its nature, is a very personal experience. What one finds romantic, touching, or compassionate depends on who you are. Expressing romantic feelings and passionate moments may mean reaching into vulnerable parts of yourself or observing dynamics that you want or can relate to. You might choose to write about a personal gesture that would be meaningful to you or fictionalize an account of a past relationship. If your writing feels personal and is, in its way, personal, it will show in your writing.

To some people, that intimacy comes easily. They don’t have a worry or a care about expressing this unique or personal part of themselves through a character or characters. On the other hand, there are those of us who aren’t really that comfortable being in the spotlight like that. You want your story to be the thing that people focus on, not you. You’re not the story; you’re just the person who took the time to hammer it down into words for people to enjoy. That can be a challenge. Like all creative endeavors, you must first ask yourself if you’re comfortable sharing your creation. If so, great! Do so! If not, that’s also totally fine.

Let me make this very clear. I’m sure I’ve written this in other articles as well, but you are never, ever obligated to share any of your personal work. If you spend an hour or a year working on something that is just for you and you alone, there is absolutely no shame in that. The first person you create for is yourself. Others can come later, if they’re wanted at all. Don’t ever feel like you are less than or worse than someone just because you’re not comfortable sharing.

Now, from there, let’s get personal. “Write what you know” applies to this. If you want to make a romance believable, become knowledgeable about your subject. You don’t have to have first-hand experience with everything you choose to create. After all, I’m a fan of things like “Mobile Suit Gundam,” but I don’t believe that the people who made it have ever actually piloted a giant robot. That is to say, research is always a good idea. If you want to write a love story about two people who meet in a bookstore and who are passionate about literature, pick the genre that they’d like and research what is popular and well-loved in that area. Mold your characters around that. Granted, this is a very surface example, but you’re smart. I believe in your ability to take this idea and go amazing places with it.

Part Three: Even The Nights Are Better

So, can we get a little more...questionable, dear reader? I won’t get gross or graphic, I just want to address something that does happen in some romantic writings. The more “intimate” moments. Yes, I’m afraid we have to have that conversation now. Let’s start with the most important part: You are not required to write that kind of stuff if it makes you uncomfortable. I want to stress that. This is, above anything else, your creation. Your story. Your expression. If you want to get more adult-rated with your writing and you’re comfortable with that, go for it! There’s no shame in that. If you’re not, there’s no shame in that, either.

While “spicy” and “steamy” scenes might be seen as a requirement in some romantic fiction circles, a lot of that is also social media hype. Don’t think that you have to do that kind of stuff just to have a story noticed or gain fans of your work. You shouldn’t feel like you have to adopt some other voice or expression. Write what makes you happy and the rest will flow naturally.

If you do, however, feel comfortable talking about the more intimate and adult aspects of a story, then go for it. There will be places for your work and your expression. You may have to hunt around to find the exact place and audience for you, but I believe in you and your work. I think you can find it and you will be happy.

Editor’s Note: More specifically, as long as the spicy or steamy content does not endorse harmful behavior, it can belong in your book.

I don’t write steamy fiction, but I know talented people who do. I just want you, dear readers, to understand that if you are or are not into these things, there is no shame in that. Just be true to yourself and your voice.

Part Four: Two Less Lonely People in the World

You have your idea, you have your characters, you have your idea of how intimacy and love work, but what about an ending? Like all stories, you have a long list of ideas and choices. Will it end in happiness after a long, hard road to finally be together? Will it be a tragedy where, despite all their love and compassion, the relationship still doesn’t make it? Maybe it’s mutual, and the love that they knew this whole time was never really romantic love? Maybe it’s something interesting and surprising. If so, I want to read that book!

A good ending is an important part of any story, obviously, but in a romance story, it has a bit more of an impact. Romance is, by its nature, very personal and human. If we say that the ending of a sci-fi story is that the world is saved and our heroine is returning to space to protect other worlds that need her, that’s not bad, but it’s mostly what we were hoping for. With a love story, we want to know if happiness or sadness is what we’re living with. We want to know less about the world around them and more about romantic matches. Are they happy? Will they be happy? Where will they go? Do we know that?

I can’t tell you how to make an ending. After all, it’s your story. You get to make that decision. Maybe it’s not ready to be over just yet. Maybe you still have more to say, but you’re just not ready for it to fit into this story. That’s also fine! Leaving things on a cliff hanger is also an interesting option. They were so close to re-uniting, inches from each other without knowing that the other was right bedside them, and then…

And then, indeed! What I say about endings is the same thing I say about every other part of your stories. They are yours, so write it in a way that feels right to you and your story. This story isn’t just a tale. It’s your tale, it’s your voice, it’s your creation. You should make it in the way that feels right to you. Of course, understand criticism, take advice, change a few things here and there, but never lose your voice.

Conclusion: All Out of Love

I know that this may not be the most definitive or in-depth article on romance, love, and writing about loge. I do hope it brought you a little encouragement and happiness, though. That’s mostly what my work is: a bit of musing on some topics in order to bring a little happiness to those of you reading it.

If you’ve read this and feel encouraged to start on a project, do it! Grab that idea with both hands and make it however you feel the most passionate about. If you read this and think I’m silly and you can do much more amazing things, then do that, too! No matter what, I encourage you to create. Make the thing that makes you happy and share that happiness (should you feel comfortable) with whomever makes you happiest.

Even if all you write this month is a short story, a love letter, a novel, or whatever makes you happy, I encourage you to do it. Chase down those hearts and bring love to everyone and anyone who makes you happy and who you want to make happy.

As an aside, for those of you paying attention? Yes, I did name every part of this after an “Air Supply” song. Happy Valentine’s Day, dear readers.