Why [and How] a Memoir

Memoirs transform and are transformative. 

At one time, a memoir was a method by which the famous and wealthy kept their legacies alive. Celebrities still write memoirs, even autobiographies, but the craft of memoir no longer restricts itself to one body of people. 

Memoirs convey the impact of a person’s transformative experience and, essentially, what makes that experience resonant. 

No one will understand you or your experiences better than you do. The qualities that you and the people in your life present, the actions you have taken, and your mindset will resonate with people. 

Tara Westover’s Educated tells of a young woman who was raised by a survivalist, Mormon family and did not receive a formal education until the age of seventeen. 

Many have their own relationship with formal education systems and the intersection of education and mental health. Some people live with deep trauma associated with religion, with relationships. More simply, while one cannot expect to have lived the same life as Tara Westover, one can read this memoir and feel seen or better understand a perspective outside of themselves. 

Memoirs are vulnerable and deceptively difficult. 

First and foremost, your memoir must center around you and your “humanness”. By this, I mean that vulnerability is essential even if it might be uncomfortable. You are allowed to have limits as to what you disclose, so start there. 

What is either off the table or the most difficult for you to discuss? Be patient with yourself at this stage. If something is difficult to process, but important to your story, you are allowed to save it for another headspace. 

Next, what is your theme? Your theme should be more than one word. Your theme should show your story’s conflict. Your theme should show how your story aims to connect with its readership. Click on the link to read through Purposeful Prose’s method for finding your memoir’s theme!

We will be treating your memoir as a story. You began somewhere, and you’ve made it through one-hundred percent of what you’ve had to persevere through. 

Own that. 

Planning out your story, figuring out how you want to begin, develop, and end it is the most difficult part. I usually tell beginning memoirists to start at the end. 

What resolution are you looking to give? 

This can change throughout the writing process, but having some idea of the ending will give you direction. Others start in the middle, and that’s a good strategy too. 

Use a type of writing plan that fits you. It can be a standard outline, a grid, a selection of notes, even a journal. Plan in a way that matches how you think. This way, planning won’t be something you feel you have to do. In short, make something that you can go back to and use. 

Once you have your plan, you’ll have a better idea of where you want to start. 

The best thing that you can do when crafting a memoir is pace yourself. There could be days where it’s difficult to push out a sentence, much less a page. The writers you admire most have, more likely than not, had those days. 

When this happens, remember why you decided to tell your story in the first place. 

It’s okay to be uncertain about what telling this story will lead to. Wanting to tell it is enough, and you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re ready for a collaborator or need a little direction, let’s talk. 

I can’t wait to hear from you.